Shhhhh. Be very quiet. Listen.

I have been reading a lot about listening lately.

Not that I have been deliberately seeking out information about listening, but it features consistently in the books and articles I read about communication, marketing, sales,management, leadership, coaching, relationships and people. (Yes, I read a lot.)

Listening well is important.

Ever had a bad listening experience? Think about this for a minute – you have a problem, or a question, or something really exciting to share. The person you’re talking to is not giving you their full attention, they interrupt, they are clearly just waiting for you to stop talking so they can tell you what you should do, or how the same thing happened to them only much worse/better.

These bad listening behaviours happen daily, all over the place – in conversations with people at work, with family, in shops and restaurants – basically anywhere there is human interaction.  Bad listeners leave us feeling annoyed, misunderstood, confused and wondering why we even bother trying to talk to them.

Now.

Think about a time when someone really listened. Gave you their time, attention, focus. Didn’t assume that they had all the answers. Didn’t try to fix things. Didn’t tell you what to do.
Instead, they simply listened.
Stopped what they were doing and gave you their full attention.
Gave you silence instead of jumping in to tell you their story whenever you took a breath.
Encouraged.
Asked the right questions. Tried to understand your perspective.
Maybe asked you if you would like them to help. Didn’t give you the answers unless that was what you wanted.
How did you feel? The simple act of having someone really listen makes us feel better. On many levels.

How often are you really listening?

Listening well is a simple way to be a better friend, parent, child, manager, team member, leader.  Basically, a better human. Unfortunately, it is far less common than bad listening.

Fortunately, getting better at listening is simple. Here’s how to do it:

Write a list of bad listening habits – the things that annoy you, that drive you crazy, that make you feel as though people aren’t really listening to you. Never do them.

Write a list of the best listening habits – the things that make you feel as though what you say is important and that you are really being heard and understood.  Do them every day.

Simple. Not necessarily easy – developing new habits takes time. Choose one new listening habit and make a point of doing it in every conversation every day for a week – see what a difference it makes.

leading business

I have just launched Leading Business – a new resource that provides information, ideas and practical steps for business improvement.

To mark the launch of this monthly bulletin for business owners, I have written a downloadable report:

10 tips for thriving in business – great ideas from business books you probably haven’t had time to read!

Click here to go to Leading Business, sign up for the monthly bulletin and get  your copy of the report!

niche found.

What defines that segment of the community that you can best serve?
Who are the people you love working with?
The ones you understand the most?
The ones who are going through the things that you have gone through?
The ones that make you say, ‘Yes, I get to go and work today!

I am delighted to announce that I have found mine.

I coach women on a mission.

A mission can be anything that is important to you. It is positive. It is forward focused. It helps to change the world. There are so many great missions:  personal transformation, community leadership, a vocation, working in a role that makes a difference, being a great parent, living more sustainably, starting a business.

I can help women who are not yet sure what their mission is, those who are starting out, those who are struggling to balance their mission with the rest of their life, and are facing burnout.

I am looking forward to sharing ideas and information – expect to read more of this in the future!

TED 2009 – you didn’t have to be there

Maybe next year I will get to the TED conference. Maybe the year after. It is expensive. You have to apply to attend – there are essay questions. Only a limited number of people are accepted. And, well, it is in America.

In the meantime, there is plenty of fantastic, inspiring, amazing stuff from this year’s TED conference available now on the TED blog. Previous TED talks can be found on the TED website.

I recommend you give up watching television and watch TED. And get to work on answering those essay questions.

the gift of a beard

If you’ve ever needed a good reason to have a beard (and a really easy way to get one quickly), here it is:  the happy, creative people at atto will donate $1 to Kiva for everyone who sends a photo of their real self wearing a fake beard (easily created using their Build a Beard Workshop).  Good clean, hairy fun, and for a great cause – what more could you ask for?  You can have that warm and fuzzy ‘I’ve done something worthwhile’  feeling with a warm and fuzzy face……. (and there’s a great range of beards to choose from!)

Here is my bearded self:

The Shackleton beard

embracing my inner geek

Last night I spent fifty nine minutes watching the launch of Adobe Creative Suite 4, including an introduction by Adobe CEO Shantanu Narayen, an overview of the products by Senior Vice President John Loiacono and some Adobe customers demonstrating their brilliant creations. Interesting comments on technology, design and connectivity around the world (for example: around 1 billion people in developing markets will never use a pc to access the internet, but will use mobile devices instead).

I was amazed by this:  more than 1700 people years have gone into the development of the CS4 suite of products.

Yvonne Perez-Emerson and Tim May of The Curiousity Group showed how they work with Illustrator and In Design. The Curiousity Group is a creative marketing group that ‘gives everyday people a creative experience that strengthen their ties to the brand.’ Have a look at their website for the rationale behind their work (and for the eye candy).

CS4 is due for release in Australia in November. Yes, I’ve pre-ordered.

Traralgon Bunko Breakfast Report

On Thursday evening twelve people who work in a range of fields including health, education, and sustainability gathered in Traralgon, Australia to discuss The Adventures of Johnny Bunko and the six lessons for thriving in the world of work.

A conversation menu was provided with the questions Dan Pink suggested as well as this one:

“Globally, the world of work and education is changing – what is changing locally?”

Conversation was wide ranging, and I recorded the following observations about the changing nature of work and education:

There are now more opportunities and increased flexibility in education as well an expectation of ‘life long learning’. The traditional path of school – university – career is only one option among many.

Women are speaking out more and creating opportunities – they are not as likely to be constrained by ‘the plan’ as in the past.

Workplaces are not necessarily keeping up with the changing expectations of employees – larger organisations in particular have expectations that younger employees are still following ‘the plan’.

Local primary and secondary schools are embracing technology, utilising smart boards (interactive whiteboards) in classrooms and contributing to global projects, although uptake varies between schools.

Kerryn and Jenny, who work in medical education noted that Generation Y doctors aren’t very interested in traditional face-to-face professional development – the Gen Y attitude has been ‘I don’t need to attend – if I want to know something, I’ll google it.’
It seems patients are doing the same thing – doctors are now dealing with ‘internet expert’ patients who google their symptoms, make their own diagnosis, then request their doctor prescribe accordingly.

Kerryn and Jenny discuss the book - Johnny Bunko anxiously awaits their verdict. Johnny Bunko? WTF?

We talked about whether you can identify an excellent mistake in advance, rather than just recognise it in retrospect. Frank (formerly in IT/economics/business now in sustainability) thought that you can’t make a pre-meditated excellent mistake – maybe a calculated risk was a better description?
Sarah (co-founder of the Blue Stockings Association) was an advocate for learning by doing – taking every opportunity, knowing you won’t get everything right, knowing that you will make mistakes, and knowing that the experience will be worth it.

Caitlin (co-founder of the Blue Stockings Association) read the whole book in half an hour.

Finally, some suggestions for the seventh lesson:

Look after your health – without your health, it’s hard to achieve anything else.
Take every opportunity – an excellent mistake may be waiting for you!
Seriously, have fun.  This is not a race to the end – an enjoyable, satisfying and fulfilled life is what it’s all about.

verdict: the halo is a winner

My challenge for the week was to cultivate a ‘wide halo of ease and leisure’, inspired by the Thoreau quote in my last post.

What I did:    Reminded myself maybe five or six times a day  – simply saying the words ‘wide halo of ease and leisure’ to myself, picturing myself ‘sauntering to my task’, then consciously relaxing. That’s all.  Oh, and I had a living example to provide further inspiration – greyhounds are ‘ease and leisure’ jedi masters.

Horse demonstrating a wide halo of ease and leisure

Was I efficient?    Probably slightly more than efficient as usual. Considering I have a lot of work on at the moment, this could have been a frantic week.  It wasn’t, and I achieved about 90% of what I intended to do.

The verdict:  A wide halo of ease and leisure is a better than a cloud of busy-ness.
A simple technique that may improve efficiency, and definitely improves the experience of working.

a wide halo of ease and leisure

Thoreau has provided my inspiration for the week. I am cultivating a ‘wide halo of ease and leisure’ in an attempt to be really efficient. You have to admit, it sounds like a much better alternative to crowding your day with work…… is it possible to do this in 2008?  I will report back on Friday.

Just in case you have trouble reading it on the image above, here’s the quote: ‘The really efficient laborer will be found not to crowd his day with work, but will saunter to his task surrounded by a wide halo of ease and leisure.’ ….Henry David Thoreau

Bunko Breakfast in Traralgon

One of my favourite writers is Daniel Pink, author of A Whole New Mind, Free Agent Nation, and more recently, The Adventures of Johnny Bunko.  He writes about the changing world of work, and lectures around the world on economic transformation and the new workplace. He also writes on business and technology for the New York Times, Harvard Business Review, Fast Company and Wired. These topics could be dry and academic – not the way Daniel Pink does it. A masterful communicator, Pink offers possibilities and perspectives that are exciting, original and transformational. They have had a huge influence on my approach to work, technology and business.

His most recent book, The Adventures of Johnny Bunko, is a career guide in manga form (japanese comic format). I don’t believe it’s available in Australia yet, but thanks to the wonders of the internet and Amazon, I’ve had my copy for a few months. (Being a manga fan from way back, I couldn’t wait!) In the book Johnny learns how to thrive in the working world in six lessons:

1. There is no plan.

2. Think strengths, not weaknesses.

3. It’s not about you.

4. Persistence trumps talent.

5. Make excellent mistakes.

6. Leave an imprint.

I am very excited to be hosting a Bunko Breakfast in Gippsland this month. This is one of twenty Bunko Breakfasts being held around the world.

What is a Bunko Breakfast?

A social occasion with purpose. A time to enjoy some food, a drink and talk about how the world of work is changing. The chance to meet others and to hash out the six Bunko lessons and what they mean.

And there are giveaways! Dan has sent 6 copies of the book and six sets of chopsticks (are they magic? Watch the trailer on the Bunko website – it will all become clear) – these will be given to the first six people who sign up for the Bunko Breakfast.

Bunko Giveaways (Otis is helping.)

As Daniel says, ‘This whole venture is an experiment. We’ll make some excellent mistakes along the way. But I’m convinced that what you’re doing — gathering engaged, interesting people for conversations about how to improve their work and lives — can truly leave an imprint.’

Otis needs to learn Lesson 3

The Traralgon Bunko Breakfast will be held in the EVENING – Thursday 25th September, 6pm to 8pm at ‘The Office’ function room at the Crown Hotel in Franklin St, Traralgon. Drinks will be available over the bar, and some snacks will be available. Come along – eat, drink and have interesting conversations! There are a number of restaurants nearby if people want to go on to dinner afterwards.

Please send me an email – kim@kimwoodcoaching.com.au  if you will be attending this EVENING breakfast or want more information.  The ‘contact’ form on my new website is not yet functional (any day now), please use email instead until further notice.

Hope you get involved in this excellent experiment!